Sunday, 31 July, 2011

Tonight is the last night that I will be spending my free time in my room with my computer and slacking attitude.

Tml will be my enlistmenet day, felt excited and nervous about it. Just hope that everything will be fine in there.

And of course, I hope I can receive more sweet and motivation SMS from my gf, I hope she will be there for me always just like I am to her :)

After all she is my source of pillar..

Nights nigths world~

Friday, 30 July, 2011

A rare and hardly meet up between both of us.

I cherish it even though there is some cock up.

Whole night I been trying to start conversation, even though I know it's kind of boring. But at least I tried.

I even hint at her by sharing work stuff to me.

Because I know most of her time has given to work and some how from work she can tell me all her experience,
her challenges and etc.

She didnt want to or rather say she not interested.

SMS-es are important.

I don't have intention of coming home tonight, actually I wanted to have more time with her. But I have to understand she has to work tml.

So before I board the bus, I really tell her from the bottom of my heart that I will miss her and I love her.

Did she really get it or not is another matter.

One thing for sure, as the bus leaves the stop. I felt my eyes collecting tear drop but I held back my emotion.

I hope we can have more time the next time we meet up and we are able to share more things with each other, be it work, life, happy and unhappy stuff, right my soulmate? :')

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Never thought we would go into this stage whereby we will become stranger. It's quite amazing to me that we can talk everything under the sun and now we barely had topic about the sky.

I hate what we are now. Not knowing what's our direction and what we should do. We used to have telepathy, but now we are just two lost soul walking here and there without chemistry, out of sync, out of tune.

Somehow I would always thought of going down the aisle with her some day

, then day dream about having kids and living happily ever after. Maybe that's the thing I want out of this relationship.

Now, I don't even think what will happen the very next moment.

Was going to send her this , but still I did not.

My thought recently not long ago:

Dear,

Lately you have been hard to reach, is it because of work or is it because of me? But anyway, days without you around are hard to spend, it seems like I have too much time on hands and too little stuffs on hands to do. I finally understand the feeling of being left alone at home. And I really regret the times I took things for granted.

When I really needed the very someone, is far and unreachable, the feeling is unbearable. Maybe I am just getting my own deserts. But we know time won’t go back on its own.

There’s a lot of thing I miss doing together with you such as walking you to school/home, holding your hands, taking a stroll, cuddle each other and having someone beside you when you wake up from nap. These are just a few things I miss doing but there are still a lot of things we have not do together. Hoping I have a chance to do other more memorable things together. The very thing I want is we can sms each other and have fun in it. J

Right now the only thing I could do is slowly wait for your sms each day as the time passes by.

Recently I just started to learn origami of folding hearts, hope one day I can give it to you personally. And besides that, I browse through our old conversation from msn, I miss those days. During browsing, I feel disheartened to continue as there were parts of it are not really conversations but actually sentences from quarreling. L

Anyway I just want to end off this letter telling you I will always believe and respect what decision you made.

Tuesday, 28 June, 2011

Wow, its been nine month since I updated my blog. So I would like to take this quality free time to update on my blog and everyone our there that can access my blog. :)

Graduated on May 10, its was fun and probably the very last time I went to RP. My mum and second aunt went together with me together with YJ. Though she had some unhappiness due to she has no one coming with her. But baby, I will always be there <3

Speaking of her, we are now together for a year and one month. I am not sure whether we can continue this relationship. Because throughout this one year we have a lot of misunderstood and unhappiness. I felt guilty and helpless as I thought I would bring her happiness but never unhappiness.

Sigh..

Okay, anyway I left with one month plus till 1st August which is my enlistment day in Tekong :D

I somehow feel excited and nervous with a bit of worrying.

Excited - apart having listen to numerous of story from all my friends that had been through the BMT, I feel that I should really go experience the whole BMT thing, which some of us complain its tough while others enjoy the most in their two years of serving the NS. The other part that makes me excited is because I was from the uniform group, NPCC. I love having bunch of good friends that will go through thick and thin together and helping one another. Those are the experience and feeling that are priceless. Which can't be brought and thought elsewhere.

Nervous - of course I will be worrying about the people and the training. I hope the people/bunk mate I going to befriend with a bunch of caring and helpful guys, don't really wish to have some "trying to act funny" guys spoiling the BMT making Sir to keep "Tekan" us.

Worrying - of course its about relationship, while at this point of time, the most I can do is to be truthful to her and make her feel good and let nature take its course.

While got to end here..I will always be there for you.